BING!

I can't stand any main articles that MSN shows anymore.  (Which I only visit when I log out of my email because that's where it takes me.)  Often times I fall for the picture or the title of the article and then I'll TRY to read it.  However most of their articles go a little something like this:  all things in ()=a link to a Bing search with that word/phrase in it

"Tyra Bank's staff was really upset with her when she brought (these) for their holiday gifts."

Or

“A new medical discovery can cure (this) with (these).  (This) old home remedy may also help out for (this).”    

LOLWOT?!

OKAI, thanks MSN for making me click around the entire web to read a damn paragraph-rul cool.  And that is just ONE sentence.  And of the one sentence it's like a freakin' fill in the blank.  I can't imagine being that poor soul that would have to write those, and then search something and then link it to that.  It's like a trick to bring up their search numbers or something so they can boast they had X amount of searches in X amount of time.  IF it’s for a clever way of “citing” your sources, then can’t they put the word and have that be a link?  At least that would make it a complete sentence.  When in reality it's just a pain in the a$$.  By the way, Tyra brought cheeseburgers for their gifts hahaha.  I’d take a cheeseburger over an MSN/Bing article for sure. 

EXAMPLE: Best of luck to you.

GO! BWAH!! LOLZ

Next party/rave will feature this song:

Yes, I do feel bad for this girl for faceplanting. But not enough to soil the moments of joy this has brought. I think my favorite part is the "BWAH's"-slightly looks like she's convulsing or something. Enjoi!

KTHXBAI,

Silver

Bwah

For those of you who may not know me, I am a music production major at a media arts school (Full Sail University, anyone?).  Before I transferred there, I was at a local community college taking gen eds up the rear.  Awful awful stuff, gen eds.  It was at this community college that I took very few major related courses.  Two of the biggest courses toward my degree (at the community college) were Music Theory and Electronic Music.  Unfortunately for me, they were both taught by the same professor.  This man is seriously one of the dumbest smart people I know.  He is extremely intelligent-but he is as dumb as a sack of rocks.  During theory he was adamant about avoiding parallel fifths (two notes-a fifth apart-continued at a fifth apart throughout the melody and harmony).  He decided to show us the horror his college professor had about the topic-“Stay outta Chinatown!” 

As if Chinatown had criminal activity or something, get real, it’s not the Southside of Chicago or anything.  Back to the story: Somehow or another parallel fifths=Chinese music.  Actually, now that I think about that, why is that a bad thing?!  What if I wanted to write a song with a Chinese influence?!  *WTF!!!!*  Back to the story for real this time: Apparently this professor and his wife (God save her) had adopted a daughter from China (God save her too-in fact more so…she didn’t choose this), and when this daughter was first learning to play the piano she clearly started to play everything she learned in parallel fifths.  Ok…really?!  Really…so he’s saying that because she’s Chinese, she is naturally drawn to the parallel fifth sound?!  LOLWOT?! 

Electronic Music I let me see another side of this professor (other than the goofy, socially inept cave man who taught theory-same person).  This side showed a more anal retentive, least creative arts teacher I’ve ever seen.  EVERY computer in use had to be such a certain way, otherwise “it may not work.”  Bullshit-I’ve used plenty of electronics to know that the background is not going to affect how ProTools runs.  Now get out of my workspace before I go crazy.  I felt quite sorry for the people in Electronic Music II who didn’t do anything different than we did-only they got to do it again…a real step up from the first course, eh?  For our final, we had to do a song.  So I take off doing my thing, and he comes by and previews the tracks we have at that time.  He comments, “Oh you’re like a techno guy!”  I just agreed so he’d go away sooner.  (Having a clap on the 2^nd and 4^th beat=techno?...maybe.)  On the day of the final, we were all to listen to all the songs the class had done while the teacher took notes and graded.  Being as only 2, maybe 3 people actually showed up it was a short final period and we got to leave early-thank Yevon.  However, we’re still there okay?  My song plays, people are swaying in their seats to the beat (I’m lovin’ it) and then that asshat comments, “Real tongue-in-cheek.  Watch out Weird Al!!” 

Clearly his love for extreme jazz has seeped his mind and affected his taste in music.  Now I’m not saying that my song was great or anything-BUT…Weird Al?!  LOLWOT?!  I blow it off attributing to it that it wasn’t his mightaswellbedubstep jazz. 

Let it be known I did not take Electronic Music II.  I did however take the second semester of Music Theory-then dropped it in time to get my money back because I didn’t want to put up with his sh*t.  I start theory next month at Full Sail.  OH YEVON GRANT ME YOUR WISDOM FOR I SHALL BE IN NEED.     

KTHXBAI,
Silver

Misheard Lyrics

If there is one thing I love more than misheard lyrics, it's misheard lyrics in a foreign language. This is one(and I actually like the song haha) of my favorite examples:

Indian Nipple Song:

LOLZ-CAN'T STOP LAFFIN

25 Randoms

So I got tagged to do one of those 25 Random Things about You things, so here's mine:


1. In 6th grade I took one of the fastest showers of my life-I was reading "The Devil's Number" or some book about the Holocaust and I was convinced that there were Nazi's putting gas pills or acid pills in my water to kill me. I know....ridiculous.

2. I haven't slept in my bed or a bed really since before Halloween. I hate my bed-it curves and hurts me so I sleep on the couch.  UPDATE: I have slept in my bed for a while now-apparently flipping the mattress is supposed to help?  #cheapasstricks

3. In 5th grade, when pushing our desks, I accidentally pushed with the wrong muscles or all of them and let a big one rip-I blamed it on Ethan and Audrey because I was embarassed and used to have a crush on Audrey then.

4. In the 8th grade in gym (with wooden floors) we were doing sit-ups. I accidentally farted and it was really loud. And there were three gym classes in the gym and everyone looked at me, so I looked over at Dom and acted shocked. By the end of the class period Dom was convinced she had done it. Dom, I am sorry.

5. I like to chew with both sides of my mouth, if it's small candy or something I'll alternate back and forth.  UPDATE:  Haven't paid much attention to this one lately...huh...

6. One of my goals in life is to travel to every continent at least once.

7. I used to struggle to entertain myself aka I couldn't do anything alone.

8. I like to eat with chopsticks whenever possible.

9. I think this statue my mom has of an angel in our living room looks like Anna Wells-it's so scary how similar the facial structure looks.

10. I sometimes struggle focusing (ex: The Matrix-I had to have them stop the movie for about five minutes just so I could let my mind wander and not have to worry about missing anything.)

11. There is alot of things I want to do in life-I won't put them on here but feel free to ask.

12. I don't like manipulative people.

13. I hate when others try to limit others.

14. I love whales.  Both the animal and the goldfish knock offs.

15. I like the colors orange and yellow...and green.

16. I find fewer things satisfying then walking in a public restroom to find a lone shitter-they thought they were alone and felt comfortable-now they feel awkward and you can feel it too. I especially enjoy when they make noises hahahaha I don't care how old I get-this subject will never cease to amuse me.

17. I prefer Target over Walmart-ironically. (I used to work at Walmart-aka hell.)

18. Exotic Thai is one of my favorite restaurants if not the favorite.

19. Indianapolis and Minneapolis/St.Paul are my favorite cities-thus far.

20. Elves are my favorite on LOTR haha.

21. I can't wait for FFXIII series aka Fabula Nova Crystallis. UPDATE: Still have yet to beat FFXIII, school and work keep getting in the way of that dream :P

22. I like to give things to people randomly-and for no reason...if only I had more money.

23. I like exotic things.

24. I value my friends and close family a shit ton-probably to the point where it's not healthy.

25. I don't agree with alot of things in American society or the work ethic.

Poop-wotlol?

I wrote this a while back hahaha, however I just now thought to put it on here after referencing it.

Enjoy!:

Ok, this is graphic and inappropriate in nature, but I must document this.  So, as we all know the feeling when it arises-some of us greet it with open arms, others charge it like a necessary chore.  That’s right; I felt the urge to go number 2.  So as I break the seals of my sphincter to release my man made waste, I didn’t think anything of it.  As most men do, I stood up before I flushed to view my masterpiece.  Unbeknownst to me, a turd the size of my forearm had slid right out from underneath me.  I flush…go figure, the first one out and it clogs the toilet.  Holding in the rest that must be released, I attempt to unclog the toilet.  I’m no repair man or mechanic, I just know the motions.  So I work at it and a few flushes later I hear the water and air smacking each other on the lip of the pipe-music to my ears.  I then let the next one out-this one was simple enough.  Once again, I peer into this little pond (fearing I had given birth to another monster) and low and behold!-the part out of the water was steaming!  A steaming pile!  I didn’t know that feces could ACTUALLY steam!  I thought it was just a saying or a phrase…this has got to be the weirdest dump I’ve ever experienced-however, enlightening.